What a difference a year makes.

Happy new year and welcome back to my blog!

It's been a long time since I have decided to write about my thoughts or what I've been up to. So, let's catch up because I have so much to share. In the last year, I have done a number of new things that have all lead me to where I am right now.

First of all, I started a very personal health journey and it has been overwhelming at times. However, through the stress and worries, I grew my relationship closer with God and even made a new friend that I'll have for life. I won't go too far in-depth, but I will say that it has changed my outlook on life and many of my views on how we live our lives. The blessing? I'm learning patience and how to praise God in the hallway while I wait on the door to my blessings to open. That's real faith. I'm loved and healthy, so that's worth it all.

I also learned about the betrayal that can come sometimes when you have the best intentions. Thankfully, God has repeatedly told me to unblock the people that may have hurt me in the past because although they may not see the good in me, God does. No matter what people say about you, you know that God will let your light shine in the darkest of places. More importantly, I forgave them. People from my college years constantly berated and hurt my self-esteem. The people that I should have seen as heroes became villains before my eyes and it's difficult to let go of the past, but I think that God is healing that area so that I can blossom and help others in similar situations.

I have taken on a couple of interesting projects and interests since I last sat down t write, too. I've decided to embark on my feminine journey to the fullest extent. Meaning I'm going to be trying a couple of new things this year. Things like wanting to wear heels, practicing my etiquette, and working on my confidence when speaking publicly. Being feminine. looks different for most people, but my definition is simply to embrace being a woman and becoming a more elegant and graceful lady. You'll be hearing a lot more about that very soon.

In addition to my femininity journey, I have also started writing again which feels like my biggest imposter syndrome activity. I know how much I love to write and share my thoughts with others. I also love that with writing I can devote time to each of my various interests and also connect with others that share these interests with me. I have always wanted to find a way to express my creativity with writing, but I do struggle with sharing my pieces due to my own fears. But, this year feels very much "all in."

Plo twist- I have also started working on my full-stack developer certification. I have been working in marketing for a few years and now I'm ready to pivot into tech. Not just for the money, but also to constantly create and learn new things.

If I'm being honest, I spent most of last year observing and being fearful. My first real business took off and quickly landed. HeyPixelCo is such a passion for me and to see myself not succeed by financial standards really hit my self-worth. I was scared of failure even though everyone has failures. the best way to get passed them is to get back up. The thing that I can't deny is that even though it didn't go as planned, I still did it. I struggled and kept going. I learned, pivoted, and grew by leaps and bounds simply because I knew I needed to. I needed to learn how to fail upwards.

It has been a slow process but I feel like I'm being built up stronger with every leap of faith that I take, which is why I'm writing again. I'm writing to prove to myself that I can and will use God's gifts to build more self-confidence in my talents and motivate others to do the same.

As I'm writing this, I plan on making my Instagram public. I've been on private for a year or so now and I just want to share without the worry of who will see or what they will say. I have spent years being afraid of posting and getting nervous just to see what will happen or who will like what. It doesn't matter if you take awesome pictures, paint really well, or even write beautiful words if no one ever gets to see it. I'm not saying you are a less valid creative f you don't share your gifts. But, I will say that God created us to shine our light n this world and if we bury it under fear and negativity, we are only blocking the good that it could bring to those around us.

If you ever needed confirmation to stop caring what people are thinking of you and what they will say, this is it.

Live your life and be you. I know I will.

xoxo Jayla

Coming up in the blog...

Fashion Week

Femininity

& Being a girly girl